


Hold On To Whatever You Find Baby

by lukeinallhisglory



Series: Cake [15]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Arguing, Boys Kissing, Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Injuries, Sleepy Boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 10:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10010801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukeinallhisglory/pseuds/lukeinallhisglory
Summary: The one where Calum accidentally injures himself while he and Luke are in a fight.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ok...This one has had several endings and several beginnings, but this is what I settled on in the end. I hope you like it, sorry I'm so extremely inept at tagging.  
> I don't own them, and this is not an official statement on their sexuality.  
> Title from "I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)" by John Mayor

I have always hated fighting with Calum. He’s not one to yell, which is a blessing because just knowing I’ve upset him is usually enough to make me feel heavy with dread. I also get this sick feeling, no matter how angry I was in the moment, after I’ve yelled at him; made him feel guilty or stupid, or, god forbid, made him cry.

On this particular night, I’d lost track of exactly what it was that we were arguing about by the time that sick feeling made me storm away and lock myself in the guest bedroom. I had tried to write for about an hour, aimlessly strumming my guitar, and had recently given up on the endeavor. It was getting pretty late, and I was considering going to sleep, contemplating the consequences of not talking to Calum first.

I was sitting on my phone, scrolling through Twitter when an “Ow,” sounded from the kitchen. I felt a little pang of guilt knowing he’d hurt himself, probably stubbed a toe, but ignored it in favor of continuing to brood. Then came a “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” and I heard Calum’s voice break the way it only did when he was crying, and the rush of the faucet sounded.

I was now worried enough that I put aside my anger in favor of checking on him; at this point suspecting he’d burned himself. “Calum?” I called, coming out into the hallway. I rounded the corner to find him cradling his left hand, which was wrapped in paper towels, most of which were blood-soaked and useless. “Whoa, what happened?” I rushed over, pushing his right hand away and holding his bleeding one in mine.

“I just, uh, cut myself a little,” Calum lifted his hand out of mine, clearly trying to stay stoic in the face of our recent argument.

“Cal, this is a lot of blood. Tell me what happened,” I urged, squeezing at his waist reassuringly, letting myself touch him even though we had yet to settle our argument.

He started peeling at the paper towels, both of his hands shaking. “I was cutting a bagel,” he admitted softly. He got all of the paper towels off, finally revealing a still bleeding, jagged cut, deep enough that it was hard to tell exactly _how_ deep, in the space between his thumb and pointer finger.

“We’ll get some ice, and some clean paper towels, and I’ll take you over to the A&E.”

“I don’t need-“

“This needs stitches, bub,” I said sympathetically, pressing my forehead to his. “Come on, it’ll be ok.”

“Ok.” His voice was quiet and soft now.

I got a bag of ice and grabbed the whole roll of paper towels for him. “Luke, I just feel like an idiot,” Calum murmured as I started to lead him to the door, his voice betraying his impending tears.

“It’s an accident, don’t be embarrassed,” I pressed a kiss to his temple and sat him down on the bottom step so I could put his shoes on for him. “Now you’ll listen when I say cut away from your hand.”

“I mean the fight.” He looked up at me, eyes shining.

“Oh.” I stopped.

“I was thinking about it when I cut myself, which only makes it worse. I just feel horrible, baby, I hate that you’re mad at me.“

“Let’s talk about this later, hon.” I kneeled in front of him.

“ _Luke_.” And a few tears spilled down his soft, round cheeks. It was quiet and unassuming, but enough to make the guilt sink in.

“I just needed to cool off.”

“And have you?”

“I love you, Cal. I do. It’s just that there’s a lot of pressure--on both of us.”

“I know.”

“It’s just hard sometimes, and I know you know that better than anyone, but I’m hard on myself, so sometimes I feel like I feel the pressure more than you do, and I feel like I’m letting you down, all of you down, when it’s too much for me.”

“You’re not letting any of us down, least of all me.”

“Ok.” I reached up and wiped his tears away with my thumbs.

“Luke, I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

“We’re ok?”

“Of course we are.” I grabbed at the collar of his shirt and dragged him down to me, pressing my promise to his lips. He sighed into the kiss and I let go of his shirt, pulling back after another moment.

“We can talk about all of this again later. I just needed us to be ok right now,” he murmured, voice rough.

“We’re ok,” I promised again, nodding. I pressed a kiss to his tear stained cheek and set myself back to putting on his shoes, hurrying us out the door.

It was a long night. Calum was only half awake, and a quarter aware for most of it. By the time we were walking back through the front door at 4 in the morning, he was almost completely filterless, hopped up on painkillers.

“Lukey,” he stretched out the word as he pitched himself forward against me, grabbing at my arm with his uninjured hand.

“What?” I humored him.

“You’re very pretty.”

“Oh yeah?” I tried to suppress a smile, but failed.

His mouth was on mine in a second, his arm circling my waist, pulling me forward until I was pressing him into the wall. I melted into it, seeing no problem with his intentions, until he started tugging at my shirt. “Off,” he whispered against my jaw as I pulled back.

“Cal,” I warned.

“What?” he kissed me softly again. “ _What_?”

“Not like this. I like you sober.”

“You don’t want me?” he looked at the floor instead of me.

“Yes I do. Just not like this.”

“You’re not taking me- taking advance- advantage.” He squeezed his eyes shut focusing hard to get the sentiment across. “You’re my boyfriend.”

“Doesn’t matter. This takes two, and you’re not here right now. I just can’t.” I kissed his cheek.

“I want you to.”

“You’re stoned.” It was a little harsher than I intended.

“Am not.” He shot back.

“Calum, please.”

He gazed up at me, emotionally and physically worn out, his pupils blown. He was gazing at me, the way he always did when he was drunk and I refused sex. Like he was going to cry. “ _Oh_.”

“Please, baby. Come on, you’ve got to be exhausted.” My voice broke, and I realized I was about to cry. “I’m exhausted.”

Pivoting as quickly as it had escalated, he grinned and kissed me softly, unassumingly. “Bed?”

I let out a shaky breath of relieved laughter. “Yeah.” He grabbed my hand with his uninjured one and dragged me down the hall. I helped him change, and then tried to get him to lie down, but he insisted on sitting up and watching me change.

“You’re very pretty,” he commented softly as I pulled my shirt off.

“So I’ve been told,” I chuckled.

“Come here,” he held out his hands to me and I came over, letting him grab at my hips and drag me into his space. “Hi,” he grinned.

I laughed. “Hi.” He pressed his mouth back to mine. “Ok, bub, time for bed,” I pushed him off, cradling his bandaged hand in mine.

“Kiss me.”

I frowned. “In the morning.”

“Luke.”

“Calum.”

“Kiss me.” So I did. I took his face in my hands and I kissed him, hard. Based on his grin as I pulled away, he seemed placated by the gesture.  

“I’m tired.” He whined as I finished changing.

“Good.”

I set out a little pillow in front of him and lay his hand on it, shutting off the lights and settling around him. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, and I couldn’t see his face, but I knew he was upset.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“I feel sorry.”

“It’s all ok. Just go to sleep.” He seemed to drop off as if on command as soon as I told him to. I was glad he was sleeping, but also now unable to avoid thinking about everything that was said and done today.

When I woke up it was with a feeling of dread. Knowing I would have to explain last night’s events to a now sober and guilty Calum. “I’m definitely sorry,” said Calum’s sober voice, knowing somehow that I was awake.

“Don’t be.” I was glad he sounded like he remembered.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not letting me do anything stupid, and taking care of me, and not being mad anymore. All of it.”

“I’m happy to do all of that.” I gave him a heavy look.

“Ok.” And as soon as I had confirmation that he understood I closed my eyes and rolled over.

“I’m going back to sleep.”

“Sounds good.” I could hear his smile.

“Don’t wake me unless it’s something about your hand.”

“Got it.”

“Actually, just wake me if you need anything.”

“You’re sweet.”

“You bet I am.”

“Modesty’s unattractive anyway,” he teased.

“Good thing,” I yawned and then settled back to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Let me know if you see any mistakes because this is what you'd call "lightly edited" which is to mean it's late and I didn't want to read through it again. Please tell me what you thought of this, and also click through to my other stuff if you liked it.


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